Four stages of self-searching Now I’m going to briefly tell you about the stages people go through in their search for a lifetime project. Over the past few years, we have been observing a fairly large group of people — a few thousand — consistently going through the same stages. Let’s have a look at these stages. Each of them is very important. There will be four, and at each stage we pursue completely different tasks, they differ greatly from one another. What are these stages? Number one. The first and most important thing that we have to do — I will be using a car going to a specific address as a metaphor — is to undergo technical inspection. That is, you need to check up your current state as it is. What do we have to realize at the first stage? Are we ready to move forward, do we have the energy and the strength for the changes that are awaiting us? Am I willing to resist discomfort, manifest myself as a personality, listen to myself despite all external signals, promote my own decisions, and move towards self-realization? Or am I just drifting — going with the flow, no matter where? And then this is a completely different stage. So, at the first stage, our task, according to this car metaphor, is to undergo the inspection and make sure that the engine has been started and the car is ready to take us to a place. The fuel tank is full and you are ready to floor the accelerator. So, the engine is roaring, and everything is working fine. When your car is ready, you will make the decision to move forward in full responsibility, taking into account potential risks, not being afraid of making mistakes, using your strengths to your benefit. Thus the first stage will be gone through. Then we proceed to stage 2. At the second stage, people ask themselves a question. Where do I go in this car? And what for? What’s the address? Should I change my job now? Or should I stay in my current job and promote myself in it? Should I start up my own business or get married? Should I move to another country? Or maybe I should start writing a book? It's time to share some knowledge with people. But who will pay me for this? Am I of any use to anybody? I'm not competent enough, not yet. And it is at this moment that hypotheses are born. So, at stage number 2, we select a list of hypotheses. First, second, third, fourth, fifth, as many as you can have. It is very important at this stage to make up some hypotheses without any guarantees that one of them will be your lifetime project. Actually, these hypotheses are like beacons in the mist, vague, unclear, but they serve as guidemarks. They guide you somewhere. If we have made a good set of well-thought hypotheses, stage two is overcome. Stage three. Most often at the second stage we make up big dreams, as big as castles — huge serious tasks. So, the transition from stage two to stage three is called ‘castle building’. And quite often at this stage it turns out that we build castles in the sky. These are illusory desires, a "wish list" made never to be accomplished. What does it look like? You dream, but you do nothing. So, the third stage is the most important test, or test drive, which filters wishes from intentions. What is the difference between a wish and an intention? A wish is a parallel process in your mind, you can wish for anything, but you do not get any resource to make it come true. Let’s look into your diary and see if there are at least five minutes, ten minutes, 15 minutes every day that make you closer to getting what you want. This is the only thing that is honest, the answer to the question: do I want this or not? That's where your thoughts and motives reside. Once again – honest. The real intention is something that got a resource to act. So, the third most important stage is to filter out the hypotheses and select only those that really induce you to act. And the final fourth stage is accomplished through crossing the river. Between the third and the fourth stage there is a river called the Rubicon. "Rubicon" was a decision once made by Julius Caesar, when he crossed the river, burning the bridges behind. After the decision had been made, there was no turning back. You can read this story, it is pretty exciting. He could cross either with his legion or without, but after that there was no return. And when the decision has been made, your task is to tighten your belt, discard all irrelevant thoughts, and start moving aggressively in the direction you have chosen. In psychology there is a theory called "the Rubicon model", it states that our brain and body can be in two stages. The first stage is hesitation, a state prior to decision-making, when you think it over and eventually make a decision. And this is why we have gone through these three intermediate stages — to actually make this decision. So, the Rubicon is crossed, you have made a decision, and then you brace yourself and run into the battle flawlessly. It’s a kind of samurai stage, when you are flawless in your battle, when you are leveling up your will power. Will, as a way of keeping attention, when you are focusing on the chosen target, practising, collecting tools that will allow you not to wimp out but to stay focused on the task in the most efficient way. It’s a skill that needs training. But if you master it, if you pump this muscle of focusing on the mission set, the whole world will fall at your feet. So, what do we get at the end of the day? Four stages. First: your vehicle has been inspected, and you are sure that everything is working. Second: you formulate hypotheses — the address you will go to. Several addresses, actually. All vague. Yes. Third: you filter them to find the right address, choosing it by yourself, it is very clear, enticing, you have a specific future ahead of you. So you turn on your transmission, make a decision, and then the only thing you care about is the headlights. At the final fourth stage, you are a perfect driver. You look out for pits on your way, and if suddenly you come across a speed bump and you have to slow down, you do slow down a bit. And then your moving forward at some point may look as if you are grinding to a halt — but this is also moving forward. You always remember the answer to the question of where you are going, what for, why, your motives, the point, the vision of a particular future you are going to, and it gives you strength, energy to work. This is what we are working on. It’s a series of courses. If you go through these stages, the reward is yours — it is your inner smile and the feeling of being complete, of energy in every minute of your daily life. I sincerely wish you good luck on your way. Let’s continue our work.
