Now as it happens, improvisation is very similar to the inherent musicality in these early encounters between parents and infants. It also places a heavy emphasis on listening to the other, and on a mutual respect for the contributions that the other or others make. And the ways that we weave those into an intricate web of an encounter that occurs over time. And as Mercedes Pavlicevic reminds us in her podcast for this unit, when we talk about improvisation, we're not just talking about jazz musicians. Even classically trained musicians preparing for a conventional performance rely on a moment by moment coordinating between members, and that is revised and developed over time in order to find a groove. Music therapists use improvisation regularly to foster relationships with people who are extremely isolated due to communication challenges. This might be when we're musicking with people who have profound and multiple disabilities, for example. Or with people who simply cannot bring themselves to communicate because of the weight of the challenges that they're currently experiencing. Or when words simply do not seem able to communicate about the ineffable experiences that they need to share, such as bereavement, grief, and loss. So not only is musicality inherent in the most intimate relationship between parents and infants. But it is and can be appropriated by music therapists to foster the capacity for relationships through music-making with people who are otherwise extremely isolated. Mercedes Pavlicevic describes many of the musical skills that we need to foster intimacy and to strengthen relationships through music, as well as describing how music is a prism for practicing life. But I guess you're still wondering whether you're going to learn anything about how music can foster intimate relationships between adults. Well, yes, indeed it can. In the interview for this unit, Steven Malloch describes his role as a psychotherapist, practicing with people who wish to become more conscious of the ways that they express themselves non-verbally with others. He describes how we can watch the ways our loved ones express themselves as we share and interact with one another, and we can observe their musical ways of expressing themselves in any given moment. We can notice whether they're fully expressed with vibrant melodic contours and multi-modal expression that uses their faces and bodies. Or whether they're holding back, as though they don't think they're good enough to take up the physical and acoustic space. Of course, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy in relationships. Because as people withhold their musicality and dim their light by lowering their volume and clarity, the listener is forced to lean in as it becomes difficult to discern what's being said. This then reinforces the speaker's sense that what they have to say is not valuable, because it's then not heard, and so it goes around and around. And, of course, we can notice these things about ourselves, too. And by bringing these musical behaviours into consciousness, we can rehearse ways of being with others that are more satisfying. So as we come to realise that we have particular habits of relating that are getting in the way of having positive relationships with people, we can also notice how these are expressed in our musical patterns. Is it by increasing the volume of our voice and raising our pitch and getting really, really quick in tempo? If so, we can choose to notice when we do that. And in noticing it, we can trigger a realisation that we're, perhaps, stressed and enacting a pattern of behaviour that we actually don't wish to reenact. So instead, we can choose to lower our voice and reduce our tempo, and remember the way of being that we're committed to. And that will work towards strengthening our capacity for relationships. Now obviously, this is really in-depth personal development work, and some of you will choose to do that with a counsellor or a coach. And some of you might choose to do that within a safe adult relationship, one where you can ask for feedback and trust that your loved one will be able to help you gain insight and increase your own self understanding. Some of you might even be lucky enough to find a music therapist. Who knows? In any case, whether it is a music therapist working with parents and infants in the neonatal unit of the children's hospital. Or whether it's becoming more conscious of the musical ways that we all express ourselves in any present moment. In this unit, we've focused on how our musicality is expressed in all present moments. And particularly, when we are sharing affectively or emotionally with another person in an inter-subjective space. And so from this perspective, the ways we can strengthen our relationships with people require us to become more creative, more free, and more authentic in expressing who we really are. Relying on our own inherent musicality. As many of our guests emphasise, this means listening to the ways that people that we love express themselves, and listening for their musicality. And within that listening and musical sharing is the basis of loving and respectful relationships.
