What does all of this have to do with intellectual humility?
That's a great question.
I want to answer that question by first talking about something else,
something that I've learned in my own life, through my experience.
I've learned that sometimes I'm right about things,
and sometimes I'm wrong about things.
I've also learned and I think you've learned this, too,
that it feels good to be right about things and it
often feels bad to be wrong about things.
So when you're in a case of disagreement, how do you want to feel?
You want to feel good, so you want to be right.
That's the best situation you could be in.
And sometimes, you may find yourself when there's disagreement, getting defensive.
And you're getting defensive because you want to be right.
Because if you're right, you're going to feel good.
And if you're wrong, you're going to feel bad.
So you defend yourself to make sure that you're in the right.
And you know what the other person is doing?
They're doing the same thing.
And often, that leads to an argument in the bad sense,
that is, it often leads to a fight.
Is that the right response?
But when we think about intellectual humility,
we're thinking about excellencies or virtues of character.
Things that make someone a truly good person.
Now in the instance where you've got a disagreement with another person, what do we know?
Well, we know, probably in most cases,
one of you was right and one of you is wrong.
So maybe it's you, maybe it's me when I'm disagreeing with you,
or either I'm right or I'm wrong.
Those are the two choices in most cases.
Well, if I'm being defensive,
and I'm wrong, am I going to be any better?
No, because I might win the disagreement but I'm still in the wrong,
and I've missed an opportunity to go from a false belief to a true belief.
I missed the opportunity to be better off, to grow.
And if I'm simply being defensive and I'm not really listening to your point of view,
then I'm missing the opportunity to gain that kind of
information that is leading you to believe as you believe.
So I'm missing the opportunity to actually learn from you
even if you're mistaken, and I'm correct.
So what's the best response when you enter cases of disagreement with another person?
Well oftentimes, it's to look for all of the evidence in an open-minded way,
open to the possibility that you might be mistaken.
Because there may be evidence that the other person has,
that with an open-minded response to the other person, you will acquire.
So there's an available evidence that when you start the conversation, you don't have.
So the best response oftentimes to a disagreement
where it feels good to be right and it feels bad to be wrong,
is to be open to the possibility that you are wrong because if you are,
you're going to get more information and you're going to move from
a false belief to a true belief better supported by the evidence.
You're going to grow.
And that kind of growth is something you should learn to take pleasure in.
You'll feel better when you're getting smarter and further down the road,
when there's another disagreement,
you're more likely to be in the right,
and it feels good to be right about things.
So there are strengths of character that we can acquire like openness to the evidence,
that help us overcome our fear of being mistaken,
because that doesn't feel very good.
That over the long term means,
we're going to have more information,
and we're going to be in the right.
That is, we're going to have more true beliefs and
more awareness and acquisition of the available evidence.
And so overall, we'll be better off.
Personal growth is a pretty good thing,
even though sometimes it's tough.
So developing a kind of intellectual humility when interacting with other people,
openness to the evidence so they're actually tracking the available evidence,
and not simply sticking to your guns and ignoring
the possibility that there's more evidence to acquire,
is a way of becoming a better person.
And furthermore, from the point of view of learning from other people,
it's a way of acquiring more information even if their belief is false.
Because in the example I just gave,
they're believing it for reasons and you're
learning from them what their reasons are when you ask them.
And either you're learning their mistake,
or you're learning considerations that support a broader picture.
So in a way, in the end,
you're both right about it.
You just saw different points of view when you started the discussion.
What about going to the doctor?
Many of us fear going to the doctor.
I don't like going to the dentist because I know it's going to hurt,
but sometimes we fear going to our physician because we fear that we have an illness,
and we're so scared about it that we don't want it to be true.
So we don't even go to the doctor out of that fear and anxiety.
Is that a good response to our feelings?
Was it a good response to argue with another person to make sure you were in the right?
No, it wasn't. It's okay once in a while to be mistaken even if it feels bad.
Are we justified? Is it the right thing to
do to not go to your doctor because you fear that,
perhaps, you might have a sickness,
a sickness you really don't want to have?
Is it better to be in denial so that you
don't feel those feelings or should you go to the doctor?
Well, let's think about it rationally.
Either you have the illness or you don't.
If you don't, having a doctor tell you you don't is wonderful,
because then the fear completely goes away and you feel fantastic.
That is so much better than being in denial,
because the fear keeps creeping in.
But suppose you do have the illness.
Well if you do, you want it treated right away
and the sooner you treat an illness, the better.
So either you have it or you don't.
If you do, you want to find out because you want to treat it immediately.
And if you don't have it,
you want to find it right out because it eliminates all of the anxiety together.
Either way, you are much better off going to the doctor.
So these emotions, this fear which prevents us from
acquiring the available evidence interferes with what is best for us.
We will be better off by having that evidence.
