6.13 Relationship Problems - Communication

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From the course by University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

90 оценки

University of Toronto

The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs

90 оценки

This course provides an introduction to: 1. Basic concepts of The Strategies and Skills Learning and Development System (SSLD), their relevance for every day relationships and provide advanced concepts for participants who work in fields of social work and health care . 2. Basic practice principles and methods of SSLD, illustrated by relationship management case studies. 3. The SSLD framework for relationship management assessment; N3C (needs, circumstances, characteristics, capacity) and problem translation. 4. Core competencies in the relationship management application of the SSLD system: Observation learning, simulation, real life implementation, review and monitoring.

From the lesson

Module 6 - Relationships & Self

The final module covers various topics related to relationships, including love, sexuality, intimacy, and relationship problems.

6.12 Instrumental Relationships6:07

6.13 Relationship Problems - Communication4:43

6.14 A Case on Relationship Problem3:03

6.15 Dealing with Relationship Problems6:19

6.16 Affairs: Part 15:37

6.17 Affairs: Part 2 - Affairs and Beyond3:40

6.18 Dysfunctional Relationships6:31

6.19 The Challenges of Transformation and Change2:33

6.20 It all comes back to the self: The SSLD ideal3:21

Concluding the Course2:06

Meet the Instructors

A. Ka Tat Tsang
Founder of the SSLD System; Professor and Factor-Inwentash Chair in Social Work in the Global Community
Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work

Another important thing that comes up in relationships are problems.

So I think with a lot of people there tends to be these two reoccurring

themes that come up in a lot of people's relationships when their

questioning if it's working.

And one of those would be communication, are we communicating properly?

And another one would be are we actually compatible, do we jive?

>> So I think yeah, communication is obviously a big thing for

people in our area of work.

Like people in couples counselling, who are in social work,

they believe that most relationships can

be improved if you improve the communication.

But then of course the important thing is that you have to assume that

after improved communication

the two parties involved would be able to move

on in a reasonably satisfactory manner.

I have a few things to say here, all right.

One is obviously communication helps.

And even when communication is improved and

it leads to the termination or transformation of a relationship.

It actually may not be a bad thing all together,

so I'm all for improving communication.

If the two partners are not compatible, I think it would be better for

them to find out earlier rather than later.

And then if they understand where the incompatibility is,

then may be better ways to deal with it.

And then the outcome can be transformation or

even termination of the relationship, which is not always a bad thing.

>> So you're saying that

you would be able to find out, maybe if you're not compatible, potentially through communication.

And then you can work on compatibility issues through communication as well.

Could it also be vice versa, you can work on your communication issues if you're

really compatible with each other.

[LAUGH] >> Yeah, well this is another thing that

a lot of people probably do not buy, but this is my own personal take. >> Okay.

If you compare a relationship to an investment,

well, actually people do invest in relationships.

So they are investing their energy, their time, their feelings or emotions and

sometimes they also invest resources.

So when you look at something that you are heavily invested in,

you may want to be asking yourself at a certain stage of the relationship,

do I want to continue to invest in this relationship?

Or will I be better off if I invest my energy, my time,

my feelings, emotions, and resources elsewhere?

And I think that's a legitimate question to ask by whoever.

Obviously some people would have a lot of problem with me saying that.

Because people would say relationship is not exactly investment, and

we are not doing trading here.

>> Yes, yes.

>> And love would involve embracing and

engaging with the other person, making some sacrifices even.

I'm totally okay with that, and I think that there's a lot of value in that.

But I'm just wanting to introduce another angle when we look at communication.

Because communication helps us to understand, to see the reality better,

and what do we do when the reality becomes obvious?

So if you start a relationship based on a misunderstanding or

misperception of the other person and then you spend some time finding this out.

And then you come to this understanding that

this is not exactly the person that I fell in love with, all right?

And then I would say it might not be a bad idea for

the two parties involved to negotiate a transition,

a transformation, or even a termination.

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