What does the audience actually do? This lesson is meant to make you realize what it really means to listen. In Latin, there are two similar verbs: "Silere" and "Tacere". The first describes the silence of what at most could make a noise, but not talk, like for example a wood at night; the second describes the silence of those who could talk, but leave room to the words of the speaker. We will see in this lesson what an audience that willingly “Tacet” does in her mind and heart when receiving a speech. Rather than a lesson, this is going to be an experience. I will be telling you a story and asking some questions at some points. It is quite important that you listen carefully and use your imagination to see, in your head, what I am describing. Got it? Ok, so, let us start our story. Our story begins with a king. The king was pacing up and down the big throne hall, with a worried look on his face. The prime minister told him, “Do not fret, your majesty. They will arrive on time, for sure.” “I’m not sure at all!” boomed the king. “That’s exactly what you told me before! And they have not come yet!” The prime minister backed out shyly, afraid of the king’s temper. The weather was also becoming worse, as it could be seen out of the tall windows of the hall. The light of the sun was no more as bright as it was before. Now we take a break and I ask you some questions: How does the king look like? Tall or short? Slim or fat…? And what does he wear? How is the room? Take some moments to think carefully. Got it? Ok. So now, let us now go back to the story. At that moment, the door of the throne hall opened, and there came in the beautiful queen. She reached the king with a sympathetic look on her face asking: “Are they coming?” “Do not even ask me”, grumbled the king, with a gloomy face. “Those incompetent fellows...” The queen shot him a kind glance, and she took some steps back and sat on a wooden chair with a red cushion. Again, a break and some questions: What does the queen look like? What is her age? What is she wearing? What does the room look like now? Back to the story: The king took a look at his watch, and the look on his face grew even gloomier. “We are running late. I knew it.” He stroked his long white beard and said thoughtfully, “We might go to the duke’s house.” Again break and again some questions: What does the king look like now? And the queen? The king has grown a white beard: how is the queen now? When I ask this question to my students, only a few, out of intellectual honesty, turn the beautiful young queen they had pictured before into a nice old lady… Ok, now: back to the story. But, right at that moment, some steps were heard outside, and the door opened. There came in two men. One of them was carrying a small cardboard box. The queen said cheerfully, “Ah! They have made it!” and immediately produced a pair of scissors to cut the sticky tape that sealed the box. All the people in the room gathered around the two men who were struggling to open the box as soon as possible. Last break and last questions, before the end of the story. What does the room look like now? And the people around? Is everything going the way you were expecting? Within the box, there was a small object and some papers that looked like a short “instructions for use” manual. And, underneath, some plastic object was visible, with some letters on it: “D. E. C. O. D. E. R.”… Decoder… I’m sure you are now saying something like “Oh my God, no way! ...” But yes, they were actually waiting for an electronic device to be delivered… I do apologize for turning a potentially intriguing fantasy story into a dull modern situation, but as you will see in a minute, I have my good reasons. This short experience is meant to teach us a number of lessons concerning communication. First of all, how much our understandings are influenced by our personal frames of reference? I am sure that you have built in your head a whole world, using your knowledge, your experiences (you may have visited a castle, or seen an historical movie…), your preferences (what does it mean to you a beautiful queen? With brown or blonde hair? With blue or dark eyes…?). Second, how much our understanding is influenced by our flexibility: are we really willing to give up our frame of reference, once something unexpected occurs? How many of you stuck to the young queen? Or to the medieval castle and medieval dresses, even when watches and scissors and cardboard boxes appeared? People we talk to – they do exactly this. They build and create a world in their heads and love what they do and stick to it and if they are flexible then yes they will destroy everything and start anew, but not all are willing to do so. To summarize, this experience helps to understand that: - Those who listen are not passive, but quite active; - They create interpretations of the message based on their assumptions, knowledge, experience, tastes. This may cause misunderstanding if the two “interpreters” (the expressive and recipient) do not match; - They may be vulnerable to manipulation, since they are 100% busy into interpreting what is being said, not in detecting if something is wrong. As communicators – we must never forget this: that the apparently passive listener is not our recipient, but our team-mate in the meaning-making process.
